Where Have I Been?

It’s been a while I know.

Where have I been?

Living each day as it comes. I have been dusting off my Pollyanna. The part of me that sees the best in everything. She’s been missing for a while.

I’m pretty resilient. I count my blessings every night instead of sheep. But, still the past year ………..sleep didn’t come easily.

Oh, I can do that tomorrow was said quite often. I can’t be bothered. Do I really have to cook dinner again tonight? I cooked last night. Sigh………I haven’t been in the mood for anything.

This is unlike me. Warming up leftovers because I’m not in the mood to put on real pants and real shoes and go to a grocery story. It’s happened. I admit it.

I’ve been off.

But then came the calls.

I was pretty sure that at my age…………I was done with theater. I have my writing as an outlet now. When I have something to say. And, as of late……..I’ve felt like I have nothing left to say.

But, I couldn’t turn down being Sister Amnesia again in a Nunsense show. Rehearsals found me with a small group of actors………..without face masks due to the wonder of vaccines. I was grateful. Now dinner time might be rushed. It might be leftovers. It might be take out…..but that was because I had something else to do with my evenings.

The show was wonderful by the way and very appreciated by the dinner theater audiences.

The show was over.

I went back home. Happy to ignore the weeds in the flower beds. Ecstatic to put another blanket on the bed and sleep a few extra hours every morning. Because, yet again…….what’s the rush? It can all wait until tomorrow.

And, then theater called again.

I said, no. Dear God, No! I really mean it. No!

The part of Louise in Always Patsy Cline. A huge part in a two person musical. I’d done it before a dozen years ago. It’s an exhausting role. You have to be all in to do this part justice.

So, I said no.

I felt that I couldn’t be all in ……..for anything.

But, long story short. I changed my mind. I was needed. I had done this before and it would come back easily to me. A short rehearsal period called for an actress that could walk in knowing all her lines……….about a thousand of them. I had a talk with myself. If there is anything I love………it’s words. Put together nicely. A character that I have already related to and know well. Louise isn’t me. But, she’s pretty close. Close enough that I knew I could pull this off in a month.

So, I said yes.

And, that’s where I’ve been.

I wasn’t fond of the fact that the theater was a 40 minute drive from my house. But, I told myself……at least it’s a pretty drive. I had company in the car most of the time as the musical director drove with me. We had such a good time chatting the time flew by.

Patsy Cline was played by a sweetheart of a young woman. She’s a singer. She’d never done theater in her life. I was a little hesitant of that when I first heard. But, the sound of her voice singing 27 Patsy Cline songs was mesmerizing. And, a week in? She found out that she was an actress also. She had great instincts.

I didn’t know if a veteran actress (myself) was going to have a lot of patience with a newbie. I found that I did. I didn’t direct her because that is the director’s job. But, I answered her questions. I didn’t lose patience when she made some pretty big mistakes during rehearsals. I told her it would all work out. I told her when in doubt………find Louise on stage. Louise was always there to help her.

And, because Patsy and Louise obviously loved each other…………….and, because that love and connection was palpable………..the audience ate up their relationship. They believed it. They were mesmerized.

So, I have a new friend. A young woman who learned 27 Patsy Cline songs in a month. A young lady who was very verbal about her angst of doing this all in a month’s time. I knew who she was the first day I met her. I liked her from the start.

So, I went looking for Louise again. I wanted to do her right after almost getting it last time. This time……I got her just right. Even the reviews said so. And, why did I get it just right?

Because………..I forced myself to leave the confines of my cozy house. My stretchy pajamas. Evenings of mindless TV with a cat purring on my lap. A big glass of chardonnay and a plate of cheese and crackers.

I got it just right because I was the exact right actress to help a beginner. A beginner with an inordinate amount of talent. Probably the biggest talent I’ve witnessed in 30 years. She’s not just a singer anymore.

I was there when she became a star.

Louise is very proud of that.