I guess I have a knack for it. I have conversations with complete strangers. In safe places. They speak back. We have a nice talk and then go our separate ways.
I do not usually do this with men. I’m an okay looking woman. But, men tend to think they’re getting hit on. They like it a little too much I think.
But, there was that one time.
A car full of friends hit the back roads. We enjoyed a late fall day looking at farms and people burning leaves. We laughed and told each other silly stories. We hooted when the GPS had us traveling in some very scenic circles.
We arrived at our destination in less than two hours. It’s a pretty famous country store. Oh, you’ve seen the catalog. The prices in this place are phenomenally expensive. None of us buys very much. But, boy we have some fun in room after room of nostalgic items.
We usually stick together for the first twenty minutes or so…………and, then we go on our own quests.
I’m of an age now…………….the mortgage is paid off…………..the kids are educated and grown……………I can buy whatever over priced crap I want to. My husband just says “That’s nice.” when he sees it.
But, I’m also of the age…………..I don’t need more stuff. I only buy something when it makes me “happy”.
The strangest things do that.
“This is what made you happy today.” my husband says while looking at three bendable elves made out of felt. “Okay…………….”
Now, it took three go rounds of that store before I decided on those elves. First time through I looked at the price and said out loud to no one “Are they kidding? That’s totally nuts!”
The second time around I picked the elves up again and thought “Well, they are larger than most you see. They’re well made. Their faces are just so darn cute! Look at the nose on this one.”
A man stood next to me staring at something. Something up high. My eyes traveled up to identify what had him mesmerized. It was a tin wall hanging. A recreation of an old Coca Cola ad with a very jovial Santa.
He just stood staring at it.
Smiling.
He talked to himself.
“Fifty bucks. Are they out of their freaking minds? Fifty bucks. It’s a square of tin. I’m going to walk away. I’m going to get some cheese samples. Fifty bucks!” he whispered. But, he didn’t budge.
I walked away without the elves to check out the free cheddar myself.
I came back for the elves in five minutes. I decided I had to have them while I was nibbling on an oyster cracker.
The man was still there…………staring ……………. and smiling.
I stood next to him and broke my rule about talking to male strangers.
“What are you thinking about when you look at that old Coke ad?” I asked.
He glanced at me and spoke.
“Christmas at my grandparent’s house. My folks only let us drink milk, water or orange juice. Never soda. But, my grandfather always had bottles of ice cold Coke at Christmas. When my mother would complain he’d say Oh for heaven’s sake! It’s Christmas! The kid will brush his teeth twice as long. Lighten up!” he told me without taking his eyes off the sign.
“And, my uncles. They weren’t all that much older than me! They would take me out sledding on the hill behind the barn. In the dark! One flood light on the corner of the barn…………my, God! That was exciting! And, my aunts. And, their aprons. The smells coming from that kitchen!” he sputtered out.
“Buy it! You should buy it because it makes you happy.” I said.
“My wife will kill me. Fifty bucks for that!” he said. “I should just go eat some free cheese.”
“She’s here shopping? What do you think she’s buying?” I asked.
“Oh, I know what she’s buying. Five freaking flannel granny gowns. One for her. Four for her sisters. Their Christmas Eve photo sixty dollar granny gowns. I says to her…………buy them at J C Penney for $20 bucks. But, she says no. You buy them here and they last forever………………then I says to her………….if they last forever why do you buy new ones every freaking year? That’s when she told me to go take a walk.” he said in defeat.
“Three hundred dollars of nightgowns………………..I think today is the day you get to buy a fifty dollar tin sign! What you’re really buying is all those wonderful memories you have when you look at it. Stare at it at home…………..you’ll remember more.” I said.
“At least you get to take a walk. Look around at all the other men in this store…………….don’t look now. Okay, now. Look!” I said to him.
He had that overly priced piece of tin in his hands. I was distracting him from changing his mind.
He turned around to see a half a dozen miserable men…………with their eyes glazed over………holding their wives purchases. Biding their time. I suppose the room full of cheese was the last stop. Free samples was their reward for being a shopping cart with two legs.
My companion’s wife came around the corner. I recognized her by the load of red flannel thrown over her arm.
“You ready for lunch?” she asked the man.
“Oh, what did you find? You’re actually buying something? Where are you going to put that thing? In your office? Oh, I know, it would look nice near the wood stove! she decided.
“I will put this piece of memorabilia where I can see it from my recliner.” he told her with authority. “Yes, where I can see it. It makes me happy.”
He turned to me and said “Thanks so much for your help. What’s your name? I’ll tell them at the cashier’s station how helpful you were.”
“I don’t work here.” I admitted.
“Merry Christmas.”
growinguponcolumbusstreet 